Couples book Walt Disney World trips hoping to reserve some magic and a dash of romance. They might look forward to some ride queue smooching while waiting for Soarin’. Sneak some snuggling in the Haunted Mansion stretching room.

But if you find yourself entering the “Happiest Place on Earth” with your sweetheart, you need to plan for a surprise ride malfunction before it catches you both off guard. You should prepare for a blowout. An irrational death match with your significant other. 

You think it can’t happen. It sounds like a funny joke. The setting is too perfect. But heed my warning. All that joy, sunshine, and popcorn will lead to fireworks, but not the Cinderella’s Castle kind.

Scouting Locations for Your First Argument at Disney World

It might seem the most unlikely opportunity for a fight, but so many families fall victim to the poison apple that is a Disney World argument.

There are actually quite a few landmines couples may step on:

Childish Behavior — The kid inside us gets selfish and we demand our own way. With all that surplus of ecstasy, we get greedy. We start demanding more. Outrageous expectations build. We expect the ride, the food, and the character we want then and there. And we don’t care who we must step over to get it. Even our best friends. For shame.

Money — Some couples don’t realize going in that Disney World charges money for some experiences. They do their best to keep everything free:) but park days can empty your savings quicker than it takes to drop at the Tower of Terror. Finances can be a major reason partners end up quarreling IRL and in Orlando.

Hangry — There’s also the exhaustion and hunger factor. Park days are marathons. People think they can feed on pure adrenaline and one frushi, but they end up getting worn out, cranky, and extremely famished.

Instead of monitoring one’s energy and nutrition needs, people can lash out at the world and the person closest. 

FOMO — There’s also the high stakes of every decision made.

Do you chance the line at Pirates of the Caribbean, or wait for a tray of cheeseburger egg rolls to arrive at a secret cart?

Different Motors — Pacing is everything. One partner may be an on-the-go type and the other could be someone who likes to enjoy vacations (in other words, weirdos). One spouse likes to sleep in, and the other likes to rope drop.

These are all minor quibbles, but they get magnified in the high-pressure setting of the Magic Kingdom and when filtered through our own expectations of paradise.

My Own Waterloo at Disney World

I speak from experience. My first time visiting the parks with my wife in 2018 led to a ruckus near Prince Charming Regal Carrousel.

We were deciding between two rides. I felt she was getting fussy. She felt I was being unreasonable.

I turned around to discover she had stormed off. I think she thought I was following, but I honestly didn’t see her leave (and that’s what I told investigators).

I thought, ‘I’ll just call her so we can get started on divorce papers.” Then I realized I had the backpack on and her phone was in it. I headed for one of the rides we had considered and didn’t see her.

Luckily, I returned to the scene of our entanglement. She eventually showed up there too. I think we were both relieved to be reunited. The steam released and we were on the same page for the rest of the trip. 

Just like you should designate a landmark in the Magic Kingdom to meet at if you get separated, also have an emotional guidepost to return to if you and your partner lose your connection.

A trip in 2019 went splendidly. We had beaten the curse of the Disney World couple trap, or so we thought.

But in 2023, disaster struck. Coming back from a monorail crawl from the Polynesian to the Contemporary, I wanted to employ an Uber conveyance.

She felt MONEY was becoming a factor and got one of those looks to her. She forced me to endure a bus ride to Disney Springs and catch a bus back to Caribbean Beach. It wasn’t so bad, but by the time we got back, I had missed part of Step Brothers on TNT. There were hurt feelings, but no further headbutting the rest of the trip.

We went on to be married for over a decade, many of them bearable years. To this day, our marriage license remains legally binding.

Further Proof that Walt Hates Relationships

I asked a friend about this couples-fight phenomenon. First, he said it was a ridiculous notion. Then I read the pain on his face as he recalled a war he’d endured on the shores of Disney Springs. He reluctantly admitted to an altercation. 

CASE FILE #1: This is exactly how it unfolded. He and his fiance had stopped by Jock Lindsey’s for a snack and his fiance got a Moscow Mule in a cool mug, as one does. This fiance had a history of swiping aesthetically pleasing drinkware from establishments, so my friend felt okay in suggesting she take this mug home.

The fiance blew her stack and was offended. An argument ensued. (The fiance could not be reached for comment). It’s just goes to show how random these WDW couple fights can be. 

CASE FILE #2: Another couple I snooped on went dead behind the eyes as they recounted a street fight at All Star Sports resort. One partner blew up over the other taking too long to get ready in the hotel room. Different Motors. It’s another pitfall to stay wary of. I was told that if the full details of this beautification delay were revealed it would chill to the bone. 

I’ve devoted my life to saving these relationships, but actually, they seem to have healed and moved on. Perhaps there’s hope for us all.

A Time of Peace After the Disney Battle

A Disney World altercation can leave you rethinking your whole situationship. But just like in your real life, you should never make major life decisions while sitting in the hot sun, no Dole Whip in sight, and down to your last lightning lane. Take a breath.

Here’s one way to find the thread again: Just like you should designate a landmark in Magic Kingdom to meet at if you get separated, also have an emotional guidepost to return to if you and your partner lose your connection.

Recall something that bonds you together. A joy or a hardship you share. It’s easy at the parks. Grab a waffle sandwich at Sleepy Hollow. Sit and stare at your favorite drinks at Nomad Lounge or Baseline Taphouse. Maybe throw in a few apologies. Go back to your room and take a break from the make-believe.

Walt intended a park day to be a glimpse of what life could be like. But he also knew that couples wouldn’t leave all their problems at the front gate.

Even in paradise, there are bridges to cross. Remember, you guys are together not because you never fight, but because you can survive the occasional nuclear conflagration. You meet on the other side of it, join hands, and march together to the next showcase. END

I wrote about how we can test our bonds with the Disney World theory on relationships. You can check that out here.

And you can enjoy more Disney World musings in my Overheard Disney Inspiration collection.